AlrightLetsPlayHagglingAgain
by Christie Redfield
Summary: Tis the season to be…oh no not Nemmy again! What could he want this time? Chris! You got some splaining to do!


Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters from the Resident Evil Series, they belong to Capcom and their rightful owners...not me.  
Claimer: It's mine I tell you! All mine! Get back in there! Mine mine mine!!! Mwahahaha...cough cough...uh sorry. ^_~  
Summary: Tis the season to be...oh no not Nemmy again! What could he want this time? Chris! You got some splaining to do!!   
Rating: PG-13; for swearing and some mild yet comedic violence.  
Spoilers: Some for Resident Evil Code Veronica X.  
Feedback: Love it, and I read all of it.  
Category: Humor/General  
Author's Notes: I asked if anyone would be interested in a sequel to Stars.That's.A.Reason.Sure. and well...no one said anything. But hey I figured what the heck. I had a blast writing the first fic so I figured I'd have just as much fun writing a sequel...Enjoy! Oh and you can expect to see a few more familiar faces this time, and if you were expecting sick and twisted sadistic humor...forget it...I prefer true humor. Well enjoy the fic! ^_^  
  
Alright.Lets.Play.Haggling.Again.  
By Christie Redfield  
  
Voice of Narrator from Resident Evil 2: 3 1/2 months have passed since Jill Valentine's unexpected encounter with the monster Nemesis. After reaching an agreement with the creature Chris Redfield was able to keep the Nemesis from killing both of them. Now December, Chris and Jill share an apartment while the two prepare for the upcoming holidays...meanwhile Jill deals with Chris's incessant smoking habit, which he has yet to break. So far things seem well however...  
  
TIME: 9:28 A.M  
LOCATION: New Raccoon City, Downtown; Jill & Chris's Apartment  
  
Chris and Jill are busy putting the finishing touches on a Christmas tree. The apartment is decorated with an air of Christmas and Christmassy decor. Both Alphas are dressed casually; Chris in denim blue jeans and a white t-shirt and sneakers, Jill is wearing blue jeans, a short black shirt and a pair of sneakers.   
  
They step aside admiring their work.  
  
"There! We've finally finished decorating the tree." Chris exclaims. Jill leans her head on his shoulder.  
  
"Yeah finally...I can't believe that in four more days it'll be Christmas." He nods.  
  
"Same here, then before long it'll be 2002..." Jill turns him and flashes him a look.  
  
"Speaking of which...do you have any New year's resolutions in mind?" Chris thinks for a moment.  
  
"You mean pay Barry back the money I owe him?" Jill face faults and then slaps him on the shoulder.  
  
"Oww!! What didja do that for!!" Chris asks his partner as he rubs the spot where Jill just hit him.  
  
"I thought your resolution was going to be to quit smoking!!" Nervously, Chris scratches the back of his head.  
  
*You're in for it now Redfield...well could've been worse...*  
  
"Would you rather I make peace with my sister?" He asks pleadingly. Jill groans and goes to walk away.  
  
"Just forget it! God you're so hopeless!" Chris walks over to Jill and stands behind her, wrapping his arms around her from behind.  
  
"I'm sorry Jilly ..." She sighs.  
  
"Don't think you can try and sweet talk your way out Redfield, cus it's not gonna work..." Chris moves his hands to Jill's shoulders and begins to gently give her a massage.  
  
*Yeah right like he thinks that's gonna work...oh...oh...oh god...blast you Chris for knowing how to give a good massage...* Jill purrs.  
  
"You were saying something just now Jill?" He asks his friend.  
  
"Huh...? Oh right..." She turns around and laces her arms around Chris's neck.  
  
*Man I'm good...* Chris thinks.  
  
"So..." He asks. Jill leans close to Chris.  
  
"So what...?" Chris wraps his arms around Jill.  
  
"Am I off the hook..." Jill leans closer to Chris, their noses barely touching.  
  
"That depends..." She whispers enticingly.  
  
"It does?" He whispers.   
  
*Yes! Score Redfield 1! Valentine 0!!*  
  
She moves a little closer as though she is going kiss him.  
  
"But I wouldn't count on it." Jill whispers back as she then slips away from Chris leaving him standing in shock.  
  
"Hey!!! No fair using thee womanly charm on me!!" She laughs as she walks over to a table and picks her cup of eggnog.  
  
"To late...already did." Jill replies grinning devilishly like the cat that ate the canary.  
  
*Son of a BEEP! Mother BEEP BEEP!! God BEEP it!!! BEEP!!*   
  
Jill tries to keep from laughing as she watches Chris register his shock.  
  
*Hahaha...sucker...*  
  
"God woman you're cruel..."  
  
Jill takes a sip of her drink.  
  
"Trust me Chris, I could've done allot worse..." She takes her cup and walks past Chris as he nervously runs a hand through his spiky brown hair.  
  
"No Claire is much more evil..." Jill places her glass in the sink and leans on the countertop.  
  
"Can you at least promise to try?" She asks as she looks at him with puppy dog eyes.  
  
"It ain't gonna work on me Jill...nothing will..."  
  
"Okay then I take out the cable..." Chris shakes his head.  
  
"Not gonna work!" He replies in a singsong voice.   
  
"Then I take away your Playstation 2..."  
  
"Hah! I could find other means of entertainment..." Jill thinks carefully before choosing her next course of action.  
  
"No sex for a month..."   
  
"I could go without it for three weeks..."  
  
"Fine...then a year..."   
  
*Crap on crutch!!!* Chris runs over to Jill.  
  
"Okay okay I give I give! Geez woman you sure know how to be cruel...so I'll quit okay?" Chris asks as he holds Jill's small hands in his own.  
  
"Deal. Are we finished here?" She asks.  
  
"Yes. You have my word madam." Jill smiles and kisses Chris on the cheek.  
  
"Good...by the way you haven't forgotten that we aren't sleeping together right?"   
  
Chris closes his eyes grimacing.  
  
"Jill you're one tough nut to crack you know that?"  
  
"I know, but that's why you love me..." She says as she pats him on the shoulder and stands over by the fireplace. Chris stands and stretches.  
  
"Well, the holiday can't get much worse I suppose..." Jill nods.  
  
"See? What'd I tell ya? Four days till Christmas...come on Chris what's the worst that could happen?" She asks.   
  
As if on cue a massive large, all too familiar figure bursts through the balcony window.  
  
"Oh nuts...." Jill mutters.  
  
Nemesis turns and faces Jill.   
  
"Stttaaarrsss..." Chris shrugs.  
  
"Relax Jill it could have been worse...allot worse..."   
  
CRASH!!! Two more figures burst through the smashed windows, a Hunter and a zombie.  
  
"Aieeeee!!!!"   
  
"Uhhhhh..."   
  
Jill glares at Chris.  
  
"You just had to say something didn't ya Chris..."   
  
"Oops..."  
  
Nemesis, hearing Chris's voice spots him and walks over to Chris and grabs him in a chokehold.  
  
"STTARRRSSSS!!!!!"   
  
"Jill I think he's ticked...." Chris manages to choke out as he struggles to free himself of Nemmy's grasp. Jill walks over to Nemesis and taps him on the shoulder.  
  
"Nemmy what did I tell you about using a door, and would you mind putting down my boyfriend?!"   
  
"Stttaaarrrsss..." Nemesis glances over at Jill through his one eye and proceeds to throw Chris. Jill stops him.  
  
"Hey hey! Gently...?" She asks sweetly.  
  
"Stttarrrsss...." Nemesis apologizes and puts Chris back on solid ground as he struggles to breathe.  
  
"Medic!" He manages to choke out. Jill helps Chris up.  
  
"What happened with the deal you made with Nemesis? I thought you two came to a deal that he'd leave us and the other S.T.A.R.S. members alone?"  
  
"Deal?" He asks.  
  
Nemesis leans forward; suffice it to say he doesn't seem too happy.  
  
"Stttarrss Sttarrss!!!!"   
  
Chris thinks.  
  
"Oh that deal!!"  
  
***  
  
Flashback to Chris and Nemesis talking 3 1/2 months earlier. The two are standing in a dark alley apparently trying to negotiate. Chris is still in his police riot uniform save for his helmet.  
  
"Okay Nemesis I have a way we can go both go home happy so care to make a deal?"   
  
Nemesis nods and grunts.  
  
"Good. Okay now aside from us S.T.A.R.S. there's also this guy..."   
  
Chris reaches into his pocket and pulls out a picture of the Alpha team with everyone else in the picture including, Jill Valentine, Barry Burton, Joseph Frost, Brad Vickers, and himself save for Rebecca Chambers and the other Bravo team members. Standing alongside the Alphas was an all too familiar black clothed figure wearing shades.  
  
Chris points to Wesker in the picture.  
  
"Of all the S.T.A.R.S. members, this guy is the worst...not to mention he's both a turncoat to Umbrella and the Raccoon Police Department S.T.A.R.S."   
  
Nemesis roars angrily as he eyes the picture and then looks at Chris.  
  
"That's right! So you can dispose of him however you want or at least get him off our backs okay then Nemesis?"   
  
Nemesis holds his hand in his jaw for a moment and thinks.  
  
"Sttaarrrss....stttaaarrrs...sttaaarrrrss..."   
  
"Sending him back in pieces was not part of the deal but you want to know what would you get in return for getting rid of him?" Nemesis nods.  
  
"Well what do you want Nemesis?"   
  
"Sttttaaarrss sttaaarrss!!"   
  
"No you can't go out with Jill!"  
  
Nemesis roars in frustration and tears a lead pipe from off the wall.  
  
"Easy big guy! And what do you mean why the hell not? Because I don't think she'd agree to it, and...."  
  
"Stttaaaarrrsss??"   
  
Chris rakes his hand through his short spiky brown hair nervously.  
  
"Why? Cus I've been meaning to ask her out for awhile..." Nemesis looks downcast.  
  
"Sttttaaaarrrrsss..." Chris pats Nemesis on the back.  
  
"Don't feel bad buddy I'm sure we can think of something else..." Nemesis looks up suddenly with a look of happiness? On his face.  
  
"Stttaarrrss sttaaarrrss...staaaarrss?!"  
  
"Right...so what else do you want instead?"  
  
***  
  
Flashback to present.  
  
"You did what?!?!"   
  
"Well Jill it seemed like a safe idea at the time..." Jill holds her head in her hands.  
  
"I have an ex pilot of a moron for a boyfriend...so what do I have to do?"  
  
"All Nemesis wants is..."   
  
Nemesis steps between Chris and Jill.  
  
"Stttaaarrrs!!"  
  
"Okay fine you tell her..."   
  
Chris steps off to the side. The Hunter saunters over to Chris and sniffs his hand.  
  
"What are you looking at lizard lips?"   
  
"Aieeee!!!!" Chris holds up his hands.  
  
"Sorry, just don't go trying anything funny."  
  
"Baaabbbyy...clllaawwwsss...." Zombie moans out.  
  
Chris looks from the zombie to the Hunter confused.  
  
"You mean he's only a baby and he's been declawed?"  
  
"Uhnnhuh..."   
  
Zombie moans back. The Hunter looks upset.  
  
"Oh okay sorry little guy..."   
  
Hunter just shakes his head and whimpers.  
  
"Okay, now Nemesis what do you want from us?" Jill asks the eight-foot giant.  
  
"Stttaaarrrss...sttaaarrrsss...stttaaaarrrsss..." Nemesis replies.  
  
"Well of course I can give you a personally signed photograph but I'm not going to kiss you..."  
  
"Sttaaaarrrrsss...." Nemesis looks slightly disappointed. Jill shrugs.  
  
"Look if anything then I'll give you a kiss on the cheek...lets just pray I'm now immune to the virus...let me go find a photograph..."  
  
Jill walks off. Chris sighs.  
  
"Phew."  
  
"Redfield get yer arse in here!!!"   
  
"Coming Jilly!!" Chris runs over to Jill's room.  
  
"You called madam!!!" Jill grabs him by the collar and sits him down on her bed.  
  
"Why didn't you tell me about your little deal you made with Nemesis 3 1/2 months ago?" Chris shrugs.  
  
"I wanted to surprise you?" Sighing in defeat, Jill flops down on the bed next to her comrade.  
  
"Are you mad at me Hun?" Jill rolls on her side so that she is facing Chris.  
  
"No, but if you say something stupid or do something stupid in the next five seconds..." Chris silences Jill by kissing her chastely on the lips.  
  
Jill tries to hold back her grin as she glares at Chris.  
  
"You know, I hate it when you do that..." He grins back.  
  
"I know babe, but that's why you love me..." The two go to kiss again but the doorbell rings.  
  
Chris hangs his head in dismay.  
  
"People really know how to ruin a moment..." Jill sits up and sighs.  
  
"Get the door, I have to find a picture to sign..."  
  
"Okay...wait a minute...what picture are you going to use?" Jill digs out a box from under her bed.  
  
"I used to model...I have plenty."   
  
"Oooh you used to model Jill? Can I see the pictures please??"   
  
"Maybe later, and if you must know I modeled for Glamour and Cosmo."  
  
"Oh. Well I'll go answer the door then..." Jill shakes her head as she begins digging through the box.  
  
***  
  
Chris reentered the living room to discover that the Hunter had beaten him to answering the door. And it was none other then Chris's sister Claire and Leon S. Kennedy.  
  
"Hi Chris! Merry aahhh!!" Claire jumps back and screams.  
  
"Did they get a new pet that they didn't tell us about Claire?" Leon asks his girlfriend worriedly. She shrugs nervously.  
  
"Not that I know of...if anything I was expecting a dog...maybe even a zombified one..." She replies.  
  
The Hunter looks at both Leon and Claire curiously whilst sniffing the air. Chris walks over to the door and greets his friends.  
  
"Leon! Claire! What a pleasant surprise!" Chris looks down at the baby Hunter.  
  
"You, go play with Zombie..."   
  
"Aieee!" Hunter growls and scampers off. Claire and Leon watch the intervene.  
  
"Can we come in now or are you and Jill holding one of your S-e-c-r-e-t meetings..."   
  
Claire asks her elder brother teasingly. Chris gently punches his sister in the shoulder.  
  
"Can it Claire, come on in guys."   
  
Leon and Claire step inside the apartment. Claire is dressed in dark blue jeans, a white sweater and sneakers. Leon is dressed in faded blue jeans and a dark gray long sleeved shirt, and his RPD jacket and a pair of combat boots.   
  
Leon hangs up his jacket and walks over to Chris and slugs him in the arm.  
  
"So Redfield, how's life with Jill treating you?" Claire spots Nemesis and the zombie.  
  
"Aside from a Nemesis, Hunter and a zombie, I'd say things look they're going pretty well..." Claire comments. Jill reenters the living room holding a photograph. She hands it to Nemesis.  
  
"There you go Nemmy, one signed photograph of yours truly..." Nemesis hugs the picture Jill has given him like a child that has been given it's lost toy.  
  
"Ssssttaaarrrss...."   
  
"Fine I'll give you a kiss, but not on the lips...if you had any..." Jill stands on tiptoe and gives Nemesis a quick peck on the er...cheek.   
  
Hunter howls while zombie moans happily. Nemesis just blushes.  
  
"Guess I'm not dead, excuse me, I'll be right back..." As Jill goes to walk off, Nemesis grabs her and gives her a bear hug.  
  
"Yeah, I love you too big guy..." She replies.  
  
"Sttaaarrss..."   
  
"Aww, I wish I had a camera..." Claire says. Leon chuckles. Nemesis lets go of Jill who then leaves to go freshen up.  
  
"Well Nemmy I guess we're even then right?" Chris asks.  
  
Nemesis nods.  
  
"Sttaaarrrsss..."  
  
***  
  
"I can't believe I just gave a B.O.W. a kiss..." Jill says to herself as she rinses her mouth for the sixth time with Cool Mint Listerine.   
  
She knew she probably couldn't get a virus but she wanted to be careful just in case. She spits in the sink.  
  
"Chris may come up with some crazy plans...but I even guess I have to give him credit..." Jill mutters to herself.   
  
She then stands up straight and closes the door of the medicine cabinet instantly turning around.  
  
"Wesker..." Wesker grins back at her evilly and adjusts his shades.  
  
"Jill...so you're safe..."   
  
"Cut the crap...what are you doing in my apartment..."   
  
"Oh contraire Jill, can't your former captain come to wish you a Merry Christmas..." Jill glares icily back at him.  
  
"Well fa la la la la la la..." Jill turns on her heel and makes a mad dash out the door slamming it into Wesker's face.  
  
"OW!!!!" Wesker stumbles backward muttering curses.  
  
Chris, Claire, Leon, Nemesis, zombie and Hunter all look up as they see Jill come charging back in the living room.  
  
"Nemmy you didn't do your job..." Jill says.  
  
"Stttaaaarrrrsss??" Nemesis asks Jill confusedly.  
  
"What are you talking about Jill..." Chris stops in mid-sentence and suddenly appears to have a look of anger on his face.  
  
"Long time no see Chris..." Says Wesker mockingly. Chris clenches his fists.  
  
"You're still alive?!? Damn!" Wesker laughs.  
  
"You think I'd get killed so easily..." Wesker glances over and notices Nemesis.  
  
"SSTTTAAARRRSSS!!!!!!"   
  
"You broke my shades you overgrown buffoon!!"   
  
Nemesis looms over Wesker and takes the sunglasses off his face and stuffs them in his mouth and chews it up. The sound of metal and glass breaking is heard as Wesker watches in shock. Nemesis then spits out the remnants of the sunglasses and drops them into Wesker's hand.  
  
"You...you bastard! That was my newest pair! That's two you owe me!!" Wesker glares coldly at Chris and Jill who are laughing.  
  
"Serves you right! Whoa...what the heck are you on Wesker?!?" Jill asks upon seeing his glowing yellow bloodshot eyes. Wesker grins.  
  
"For your information Jillian it's better then steroids. And I got it all because I have this!"   
  
He takes out a vial filled with glowing purple liquid. The others gasp in shock.  
  
"The G-virus!! I thought that was destroyed along with everything else on Rockfort Island!" Claire replies. Wesker laughs.  
  
"Consider this the Ashford's departing gift to yours truly Claire, it's mine now and I'll be rich and even more will experience my wrath!!" Wesker laughs mockingly.  
  
"Like hell you will!" Wesker turns around to be faced with Alexia's ghost.  
  
"Damn you woman! Even from the grave you still haunt me!" He yells.  
  
"I always will Albert Wesker, now give me back that virus it's mine!" Wesker holds it back.  
  
"The hell it is!"   
  
"Give it back!"  
  
The others watch as Alexia...well her ghost and Wesker fight over the vial.  
  
Leon, Claire, Chris and Jill huddle together.  
  
"We have to get the virus from them Chris!" Claire whispers.  
  
"I know! But shouldn't we just let em fight? I'd love to finally see Wesker get his ass whooped!" Chris replies.   
  
"But guys this is serious!!" Leon urges.  
  
"Yeah come on we have to do something..." Jill says, just as the four turn around they notice Nemesis has gotten a hold of the vial, and that the zombie and Hunter are attempting to stop him.  
  
"Don't you mean should have..." Leon deadpans.  
  
"No not the virus!!" Wesker yells. Nemesis swallows the virus, vial and all.  
  
"Blast you Wesker! All my years research...no mine and my brother's research down the drain! I'll haunt you for the rest of your life!!" Wesker takes off running.   
  
"Not if you can catch me first!!" Alexia speeds off with the Hunter and zombie on her tail, as she runs after Wesker leaving the others standing in shock.  
  
"Should we..." Leon asks.   
  
"They'll be fine..." Claire and Chris reply in unison. The four laugh.   
  
"I hate to see what else Nemmy will eat..." Chris replies.  
  
"Well Nemesis, you haven't done your job completely but you helped save us from another biological disaster...thanks..." Jill says.  
  
Nemesis shakes his head.  
  
"Stttaaarrrsss..."  
  
"Well this has certainly been an eventful holiday eh Jill?" Chris asks his partner. Jill turns to Chris and they embrace.  
  
"You can say that again...hey wait were didja get that mistletoe from..."  
  
"What? I thought you hung it up earlier?"  
  
"Since when? Oh I see thought you could fool me right?"  
  
"What are you talking about? Even I know better then to try and pull the same stunt twice!!"   
  
"Oh come off it Chris you don't think I know your motives by now!!" Chris and Jill begin to argue.  
  
Leon and Claire watch as the two argue.  
  
"Should we..." Leon asks.  
  
Claire shakes her head.  
  
"Nah let's leave them...they're bound to make up eventually..."  
  
Voice of Narrator from Resident Evil 2: Eventually Chris and Jill did make up. And so after averting another biological disaster, and Jill's finally convincing Chris to quit smoking, in the next few days the surviving S.T.A.R.S. celebrated the holiday together. Wesker is supposedly still on the run from Alexia's ghost and neither is nowhere to be found. As for Nemesis, he has disappeared and is supposedly still tracking down the rogue captain of S.T.A.R.S. by request of Chris and Jill...though he may not get Wesker this time, they told him to taunt and haunt and Wesker instead...that is once Nemesis finally catches him...  
  
Author's Notes: Happy Holidays everyone! ^_^ 


End file.
